Emotions: A compass that can guide you

A large part of being alive is feeling emotions. Emotions are exceptionally powerful things that make our lives worth living, but can also cause us exceptional pain. In today’s society, emotions have be given a bad rep. They are often seen as inconvenient and unhelpful, and the advice we are given is that we need to learn how to control and master them, or to distract ourselves from them, or meditate them away. But emotions are exceptionally important things, which if we can learn how to understand them, then they can guide us.

So what are emotions? Emotions are like a compass that points toward our needs for survival and well-being. When we are off course—when our needs are threatened or are not being satisfied—we experience negative emotions. Initially, these emotions tell us that something is wrong and that we need to do something about it. Next, these emotions serve as motivation to change either what we are doing or our environment, so that we start to move towards satisfying our needs again. Next, our emotions serve as guidance on what actions we need to take to get our needs met. And then finally, when we are moving towards satisfying our needs again, the emotions go away signalling that we are back on course again.

Now, in this light, the problem with controlling and/or avoiding your emotions is that you never fully receive the guidance that emotions offer, you never change your situation to meet your needs, and your emotions never go away. And when this happens, your emotions are stored up inside you, where they mix with other stored emotions and form one big mess of confusion of frustration, which you can’t understand, you feel overwhelmed by, and you have no clue what to do with.

In contrast, when you learn how to tune into your emotions and make sense of them, you tap into their guiding nature, which helps you to adapt your actions, get your needs met, and gain that sense of well—being that you are looking for.

Now, learning this process isn’t easy in the beginning. But it very quickly begins to feel natural, because it is natural, this is the way nature intended. Our emotions come, we turn our attention to them, we explore them and understand them, we respond to them, and then they go away. Think of a baby or a young child who is very forthcoming with how they feel and what they need. Their emotions make you respond to meet their needs, and when you do this successfully, their negative emotions go away and they feel good again.

Now yes, unfortunately, things are not so simple for adults. We’ve all had years of training in avoiding our emotions; we’ve all been taught that we should be ashamed of our emotions, especially anger; and we’ve all had plenty of experience of being told off and put down for asking others to meet our needs. All of these barriers to getting our needs met need to be worked on and broken down, and we will explore how to do this in future posts. What I want to leave you with here though, is the first piece of the puzzle: a new understanding and appreciation for what emotions are.

Emotions are the compass that will guide you. But only if you can stop controlling and avoiding them. Instead, you must learn to set them free and allow them to do as they were intended: to give you clear guidance about what you need, to help you decide what to do to get these needs met and to give you the vitality and motivation you were born to have.

Emotions are not the enemy. They are the energy sources inside you that will get you to where you want to be.

A large part of being alive is feeling emotions. Emotions are exceptionally powerful things that make our lives worth living, but can also cause us exceptional pain. In today’s society, emotions have be given a bad rep. They are often seen as inconvenient and unhelpful, and the advice we are given is that we need to learn how to control and master them, or to distract ourselves from them, or meditate them away. But emotions are exceptionally important things, which if we can learn how to understand them, then they can guide us.